Sunday, 17 June 2007

8 years today

Playing Catch the Bride's Maid

It is our 8th wedding anniversary today. I can't believe it has come around so fast... it only seems like yesterday that this photo was taken. I was 15 weeks pregnant but you couldn't tell because I had an extra large frock and a big bouquet!

It was a great wedding, as anyone who was there will attest to, and people were still drinking Belgian beer at the reception until 8am the following morning! In fact, the guests drank the pub dry - not sure if what says about us really!
As for married life, we've done a lot in 8 years both separately and as individuals. I've been a total pain in the arse with all my studies and writerly/artistic tendencies, and hubby has been nothing less than a god send. Of course I'd never tell him that!

8 years eh! Well bloody hell! Who'd have thought it! "Here's to the next 8," my husband said this morning. Well, yes indeed. I can't wait!

Oh, and it was Father's Day too!

Saturday, 16 June 2007

Favicon thingy for JJ

JJ asked me how to do the favicon thingy and it's so long since I did it I couldn't remember! But here's how...

Basically the steps are: Make A Favicon

A Favicon is a little image that lives up in the URL address bar of your browser, and when you save a site address as a favourite, your favicon shows up. (FAVourite ICON)

Mine looked like this before shrinking:






















1. Choose an image. This needs to be made very small and saved as an .ico file so you'll need an image editor such as Irfan View. It's a free program and I love it.

You can also use an icon generator. Blog University (see below) has some links for these.

Your image needs to be around 18 pixels by 18 pixels, and best saved as Favicon.ico

2. Next you need to upload it to an image server. I use Ripway. It's free.

3. Then you have to add it into your blog template. Log into Blogger. Go to Template, then Edit HTML. Read through the HTML code and find the first tag.

4. Now we are going to put in some HTML code that contains a link to your image wherever it is being hosted, so in my case, that's Ripway.

Between the <head>and</head> tags (on a new line so it's easier to find in the future) put the following code:

<link rel="shortcut icon" href="http://myfavicon.com/favicon.ico" />
<link rel="icon" href="http://myfavicon.com/favicon.ico" />
Replace "http://myfavicon.com/favicon.ico" with the URL of your image host where you have your ico file stored. Blog U says, "The favicon will now appear in most browsers address bar and bookmarks," and it worked for me!

Luckily I bookmarked the site that explains all. Go to Blog U for more info, and many thanks to them for showing me how to do this! JJ - Hope to see your favicon soon!

Silences and Writers Block


"Literary History and the present are dark with silences: some the silences for years by our acknowledged great; some silences hidden; some ceasing to publish after one work appears; some never coming to book form at all.
"These are not natural silences, that necessary time for renewal, lying fallow, gestation, in the natural cycle of creation. The silences I speak of here are unnatural; the unnatural thwarting of what struggles to come into being, but cannot. In the old, the obvious parallels: when the seed strikes stone; the soil will not sustain; the spring is false; the time is drought or blight or infestation; the frost comes premature."
Tillie Olsen in Silences

And so I sit here, contemplating my own silences. Not the silences that mean I can't write anything, but the silences that prevent me from writing my novel, or that try to, at least; the nagging doubts that pick at my work with what can only be described as a very poor attitude; the lack of time and other commitments such as teaching, that sap my energy and leave me struggling to work late into the night; the self imposed distractions such as this blog, or the checking of endless email accounts; the words that flow so freely through my mind once my head has hit the pillow and yet flutter away just out of reach the moment I try to pin them down on the page. As though they are frightened of the light. And I have to ask myself, what am I frightened of? Of telling the truth? Of lying? Of getting it wrong? Or of getting it right?

The questions I return to readily is this; Why do I write at all if it is such a burden, a difficulty, a torture? Non-writing friends ask me why I even bother? But I think it is time to forget about answering that question because I write because I was born to write. Simple as that. If I write total crap, if the prose is stilted and lousy, then that is awful, dreadful, but I am condemned to spend my life producing it and then trying to make it better. I have no more a choice in whether to write or not, than I had of being born a female. And I wrote in the closet for years, until very recently in fact. Some people hide the fact that they drink, or raid the fridge at midnight. I hid the fact that I wrote everything down. Compulsively.

So - back to silences, and the reasons for these silences. Time is one of them. Virginia Woolf wrote about this. This need for space and time. This Room of One's Own. And I am blessed because I do have a room of my own to write in. But time is precious and difficult to come by.

Time. Time spent (willingly) with my children and my husband, and to feel guilty if I am writing. Time spent working; marking, planning, preparing, teaching. Tillie Olsen writes that she did not publish a book until she was 50, that "The years when I should have been writing, my hands and being were at other (inescapable) tasks into which most of my life went." (p.38) She talks about discontinuity as a "pattern still imposed upon women", and this makes me feel better because it is damned difficult to chase away the demons, to stare at the screen or page until something begins to emerge... tentatively, hesitantly... only to be called away to find a pair of socks, or cook the evening meal, or collect children from school, or to spy from the corner of my eye a batch of essays that needed marking yesterday.

But I am in good company. Katherine Mansfield wrote of her frustrations in the early days of her relationship with John Middleton Murray: they both wanted to be writers and yet she is running around keeping house while he works on his prose.(p.16) Franz Kafka speaks of writing late into the night because he is working in an insurance company. He speaks of long silences and breaks, saying "When I begin to write after such a long interval, I draw the words as if out of the empty air. If I capture one, then I have just this one alone, and all the toil must begin anew." (1912 Journal entry). Kafka also suffers from a lack of confidence also, writing in 1914; "Yesterday for the first time in months, an indisputable ability to do good work. And yet wrote only the first page. Again I realise that everything written down bit by bit rather than all at once in the course of the larger part is inferior, and that the circumstances of my life condemn me to this inferiority." (p.15) You see - the discontinuity principle is at work here. I feel this strongly every day. No chance to immerse fully, at length, to write until the writing is spent.

And so begin my thoughts on writers block for the conference paper. I wish the novel were as easy to write, that the muse would be so giving of itself for fiction, for the writing that truly matters and yet struggles so much to become.

I hope the rest of the novel racers are having an easier time of it because I would not wish the insecurities I feel in my own work on anyone!

UPDATE

As if to prove the point for interruptions, and discontinuities, my eldest has just come home and trotted into my office to tell me all about her evening with her friends... so much for the wonderful train of thought I'd been having!

Friday, 15 June 2007

Launched! In Search of Adam by Caroline Smailes


Caroline Smailes


Not the best pic but then I'm not the best photographer!

The launch at Waterstones was fabulous, and Caroline was great. Great at reading out her work. Great at making everyone feel appreciated for turning up even though it was her night. The people who did turn up were lovely, and it says a lot I think, when people attract other lovely people. I didn't get to stay as long as I would have liked due to trains departing but I had some lovely conversations in the pub afterwards, and am soooo glad I made the effort to get there.

It was very weird meeting people from the world of blogging as I've never done that before - and probably won't again unless it's under similar circumstances! See JJ's posting for more on this!

Strangest thing for me was to be in a room with people who then introduce themselves as "The High Priestess of Punk Chew Ation", and "The Archivist" - two lovely people I cornered and bored for most of the evening I think! Sorry guys! I also met Ms Melancholy, and proceeded to ask her no less than 5 times who she was and what blog she had! More apologies due I'm afraid. I met Writing in a Vacuum, and Stray - also lovely people and don't think I made too much of an idiot of myself there, though I did feel a bit of tit saying, "Hello, I'm Hesitant Scribe"!

I took a few more pics but didn't want to put people's faces up online without asking so if you want them - email me and I'll send them on. I think JJ got the best one - of the cake though!!!

So... who's next to launch then?!

Off to mark the essays I was meant to mark last night!

Wednesday, 13 June 2007

Five Weeks of Not Smoking - Hurrah!


I've reached the beginning of week 6 of not smoking! Feeling very pleased as haven't had any cravings to speak of, and have not put any weight on - *relief*. I've also been exercising like a lunatic and trying to get as fit as I used to be (which is nigh impossible given that I'm now approaching 40 and have no intentions of doing martial arts 7 days a week, weight training, and cycling. Instead I'm doing aqua aerobics which I love because...

1. It's only 45 minutes so nice length of time rather than the 2 hours of hard training I used to do years ago.
2. I think I'm the youngest one there - everyone else is on the retirement package - so I feel very young when I come out!
3. You get to hide in the water so can work as hard as you like, or take it easy (you're only fooling yourself I know!)
4. The water supports you so I haven't put my back out - like I did last time I wanted to "get fit" again!

Anyway, work means I won't be able to go for a couple of weeks so will have to make sure I don't stuff my face and pile on the pounds.

The smoking ban thing comes in on July 1st, and I keep hearing lots of people saying they're going to stop smoking on that day. I wish them luck. It can be done and it doesn't have to be a nightmare. Not only that but the house smells fresh, I can breathe after an hour's riding lesson, actually enjoy exercising again, and always have money in my purse!

I've been here before though, so am not going to get all complacent. I'm pretending that I'm in the SA - smokers anonymous - and am treating myself like an addict forever. So NO, I can't have just one!

Saturday, 9 June 2007

Facebook Phenomena and Overconnected

What a strange thing Facebook is. I can't decide if I like it or not yet, and an unforseen, and really bizarre situation has arisen: members of my adoptive family, family through marriage and birth family, are able to connect and interract. I'm not sure I can cope!

I don't suppose this connectivity should be a problem but in my head I like to keep the two families in separate boxes (birth and adoptive that is). One of the weirdest experiences of my life was when my birth grandmother and two aunties came to visit me from Canada. We were all in my mum's house and I just kept looking from face to face across the table. I have never felt so uncomfortable and yet I'm not sure whose discomfort I was feeling; my own or what I imagined they should feel. I say 'should' because in the end, everyone looked perfectly at ease apart from me!

Facebook is quite different from Myspace in many ways. There's a wall function that allows you to comment on people's pages (like Myspace) but you can also comment back on your own wall, or have 'wall-to-wall' conversations, which is rather neat. A bit like a public msn messenger... hmmm.

Weird. All these forums for keeping in touch with people you already know. Are we past picking up the phone? A friend of mine recently said we must catch up soon, only she posted it on Myspace rather than sending me a text, or calling me up. Perhaps this is the future. Is it less personal, or just giving us access to loads more ways of connecting with people? And what about when we have on-line conversations with people, through blogs or Myspace, or Facebook, that we then never talk about when we meet up face to face?! Now that really is weird!

On the funnier side of things, Facebook asks you how you know people and then emails them for confirmation, and so is currently emailing my husband with a request that he confirm I am indeed his wife - he may well refuse but knows if he does I won't cook dinner or wash his socks for a month! I only have 11 friends! I need him!

Thursday, 7 June 2007

Jumped!

I jumped! Or rather the horse jumped, but I stayed on! Hurrah!


Perception is a funny thing!


Only a two foot high vertical but hey - it's a start. And it looked bloody enormous to me, so much so that I had butterflies and the horse must have felt it because on the first approach he said, "Nah, you ain't ready missus!" and ran out to the side! Third time lucky and over we went. It was lovely and smooth. Can't wait to go again and next time I'll try it without holding onto his mane!

Tuesday, 5 June 2007

back to work

Oh dear - and I was having such a lovely week off! But back in now for 6 weeks full on teaching. So far it's all going swimmingly, as they say, but one does wonder when one will get one's novel written!

My supervisor collared me in the corridor yesterday and suggested we meet. We only just met, thought I. Is your memory so short that you've forgotten my most recent tears and tantrums?! She says, this would be a more formal meeting. Ah! So no tears then, I guess. I'll probably need to show her some work too. Hmm. Now is the time to start taking one's own advice; don't let work pile up; do a little each day; don't procrastinate; stay off the Internet unless researching; avoid the TV thingy; do not listen to Radio 4 listen again!!! I've given some dates for the week after next so that I can type up the drivel I've been working on in the midnight hours!

Just discovered that writing conference papers can be most beneficial. Some people, apparently, get all expenses paid to go off to foreign climes and deliver them! Bloody hell. If that isn't incentive I don't know what is! Best get thinking cap on.

What time is it?! Heading towards 11pm. Just got a few more essays to mark to hand back tomorrow, so better go and do it, and then will produce a little more drivel and increase word count by a smidgen. Fab!

Can't wait for Caroline's launch!

Some pics because, well, brightens the old blog up a bit! I took horsey ones on my way to work this morning!


Look who's been eating all my flowers!



Poppy - and to think I nearly ripped it up thinking it was a nettle!



On my way to work I see... this little grey


That's all folks! Off to mark essays!

P.S.

4 weeks without smoking! Hurrah! Hurray! I have survived! I can breathe after an hour of riding!

Saturday, 2 June 2007

Spooked!


I had a riding lesson in a different place today, in an outdoor school. I was on a lovely horse - very sensitive to my aids and willing. He's also bigger than the horse I normally ride.

All was going beautifully. I was luxuriating in being outside, riding in the sunshine with short sleeves (they seem a lot more relaxed in this school). Any way, about half way through the lesson, another horse is put out to pasture at the end of the school and starts rubbing itself along the fence. My horse doesn't seem too bothered by this and we trot by quite happily and onto a 20 metre circle (okay - oval!). As we come around again, the instructor asks me to give the horse by the fence a tap with my riding crop as I go past. I wasn't too sure about this, but thought I'd do as I was asked, but of course I made two fundamental errors!

1. Instead of just walking on the approach to the other horse, I asked for trot.
2. At the same time as asking for trot I put the crop into my outside hand and up - yes I know now - by his ears.

It was quite awesome - the power of the spooked horse. Firstly we went up into the air, and then off into a sprint around the school. I lost one stirrup and still had the crop up by his ears as I clung to his mane. It then dawned on me that unless I got rid of the crop, we'd never stop, but didn't fancy letting go of the mane either. Eventually - I say eventually but it all happened in a split second - half way around the school, I managed to stay sitting firm, letting go of said mane, and throwing the offending crop to the ground. I could've tried putting it into my hands the correct way but I couldn't think too straight while hurtling around the arena.

Poor horse! I will never do that again! But on the positive side...

1. I didn't feel frightened at all.
2. I didn't fall off.
3. I brought him back to a steady canter, then trot, and finally to walk in only 3 circuits of the school!
4. It was sooooo exciting! I love it! Even when they spook I love it. I think I must have a death wish, but no matter what anyone says - horses are never as scary as rock climbing!

Now I'm off to soak in hot bath because my legs are aching!

Thursday, 31 May 2007

Happy Days

Yesterday I had an impromptu meeting with my poor PhD supervisor. She is wonderful. She sits and listens to me while I snivel on and on about how hard it all is, and then nods in appreciation. "It is, it is," she says. She passes me hankies at appropriate moments, and doesn't try to fix anything. She just listens, and sometimes, all you need is a good listen. I told her the Joyce story. She liked that. I tried not to swear too much - I'm going to have to start telling people I've got Tourette's!

Today I wrote 500 words, and didn't give myself a hard time over them either. I wanted to write more, but it wouldn't come, but you know what... it's okay.

I went to aqua aerobics too, and then took miss 7 year old swimming - and she learned to swim! Hurrah! It wasn't me who helped of course, but my friend's kids, but hell, what joy!

And when I got home, I have an invite from Caroline to her launch for In Search of Adam, and it's in the evening, so I can actually make it! How fab is that!

And all the marking is done. And I feel... so relieved... and free...

All in all, happy days!