Welcome home Peugeot!

From http://bblmedia.com/women_drivers.html
Not funny, but then, yes - funny!!!
My little car's been poorly sick and needed a new clutch so off she went to the momo doctors. (Why she's a she I've no idea?) In her place they gave us a bright red Hyundai summatorother, which was fine, except it was an automatic and I'd never driven one of those before! What larks! Hubby took me out under cover of darkness in it and instructed me to "sit on my left foot"!? Bloody good job he did! I felt as though half of my body had been tied up and was struggling to break free - my foot wanted a clutch very badly and my left hand was desperately trying to accept the fact that all it had to do was hold the wheel.

So I put the stick shifty thing into R to back out of the drive and took my foot off the break and - - - - - it MOVED!!! All by itself! How weird is that!? And in P it went forwards all by itself!

But then comes stopping. How horrid it is to have to fight off the belief that the car's gonna stall if you don't depress the clutch! Except there's no clutch.

Soon got used to it, but not a fan I'm afraid, so I took hubby's beast instead and let him enjoy the automatic! Not great getting hateful looks on the school run in a massive 4 x 4 though, although people don't seem to mind as much if I get out wearing my jodhpurs!

I took the red thing to get petrol last night, and parked it next to the pump. As you do. Only the petrol cap was on the other side so had to get back in, work out the shifty stick thing, and turn it around. Done. Only when I tried to open the petrol cap I realised it had no lock. And pushing it revealed no release mechanism. I looked inside the car. On the door panel. By the shifty thing. Nada. After 10 minutes of this I got back out of the car and went to the man in the booth to explain that the reason I was driving away was because I couldn't figure out how to open the petrol cap... and he said, "Did you look under the seat?" Under the seat?! Why would I look under the seat?! I went back and had a look under the seat and there it was - a huge knob with a huge pic of a petrol pump on it. Sheesh. I am soooo stupid!

So welcome home to my baby blue tiny 1.4 car, that won't get me filthy looks for bing very ungreen, and has a petrol cap that opens with a sensible mechanism called a KEY!

Stating the Obvious? Silly Warning Labels

These arrived in an email from a friend – I’ve left his comments intact. Health and Safety really has gone mad!

On a Sear's hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping."
(Gee that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."
(The shoplifter's special)

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how...?)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(But it’s ‘just’ a suggestion)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."
(Too late!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
(And you thought . . .)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(One would hope.)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
(I gotta admit, I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
(Talk about a news flash.)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: Fly Delta.)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chain saw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere? My God!)

And if you liked these, you can find more at Rink Works, click here!