Thursday, 23 October 2008

More Bad News - But Not the End of the World!

Okay.  I've had a good cry, talked to a few wonderful people, and surprisingly - even to me - have bounced back again.

Failure is not an option.  I choose life, thank you very much.

Basically, the scan that showed up the 2 tumours in the liver, has also thrown up another shadow, in the pancreas this time.  Hence all the abdominal pains!

Doc said they were 90% certain that all 3 sites have the same cancer, but that a biopsy was the only way to know for sure, and even then, getting a sample is not always possible.  The tears started to flow at that point.  I shook my head.  I can't go through that again - being awake in a scanner while they force a needle through my abdomen to take a chunk of liver out.  We decided that we'd take it they were they same, i.e. secondaries as opposed to a new primary, and we'd see in the next scan what's going on. 

*big sigh of relief*  

The fantastic news is that I am getting the new tablet drug instead of IV chemo.  The side effects are diarrhoea (in some people), and a rash ranging from a patch of dry skin on your leg, to full blown facial acne in others.  Chemo was extreme nausea, hair loss, sitting in the chemo suite for hours on end... weeks lost to sickness and sleeping... constipation... 

I am, as you can imagine, ecstatic that I'm having the tablet.   My friend said last night, that the corner has been turned now - that I needed to focus on and believe that yesterday was the last of the bad news.  I used to think I needed to be a realist all the time, but the more I read and learn through this experience, the more I understand that it is only by abandoning realism that miracles can happen.  Without belief and that crazed faith in the impossible, no one would have ever tried to build the first submarine, or airplane, or any other technology.  So sod realism, and those horrendous figures that say I should be sorting out my affairs.  People have survived worse situations than mine, and no one can say how or why, but the one thing they all seem to share is an unbreakable belief that they would get well.  I am already on the mend!

Of course it's not all positive thinking.  We are what we eat and  I need to make a few more dietary changes, start doing some fitness work, and organising my writing day.  I great thing is that I can do all this now because once we get the pain sorted out, I'll have all the time in the world to crack on with fighting this disease.

Life is good.  Diclofenac seems to sort out the pain in the abdomen sufficiently for me to get on with things, and I've even been invited over to my friend's house to watch them (and learn about!) working a horse under saddle, and may get to ride if I'm well enough, and the weather is okay.  Hurrah!

13 comments:

Caroline said...

You are the most inspiring person that I have ever had the pleasure to meet. Stay positive and know that so many of us are sending you positive fighting thoughts too.

x

Debs said...

Ditto, everything Caroline has said.

Glad to hear that the stomach pains are helped by Diclofenac too. X

Cathy said...

I always repeat to myself one of Louise Hay's affirmations, "My body is always working towards optimum health."

Lane said...

Pills! Hurrah!. I'm so pleased.

A corner has been turned. You're brilliant. x

Zinnia Cyclamen said...

Hurrah for good drugs, and helpful doctors, and positive thinking. You're doing so well, Lisa. As Caroline says, you're an inspiration.

Calistro said...

Good on you for fighting back Lisa. I believe so much of life is to do with state of mind and getting rid of negative energy. My own life completely turned round when I got rid of the negativity around me and I really believe in the power of positive thought. One of my friends has recommended the film "The Secret" - have you seen it? Apparently it's about the laws of attraction and how you attract what you focus on. So focus on health and wellbeing and it will be yours x

NoviceNovelist said...

Hi Lisa - I haven't been in for a while to say hello but I was thinking of you. Really glad you have the drug to sort out your pain - I'm sending you postive thoughts ( and a stock pile of hope!!!) to call on when you need them! Great news that you are getting the new drug - hope it all goes well.

L-Plate Author said...

Hey there, honey. It's great to hear you so positive. You truly are an inspiration.

I too echo what Caroline said

Best wishes x

Jon M said...

Hi Lisa. If you get acne, will evryone think you're ateenager again? :-) I made MY birthday wish today! Thinking of you!

JJ said...

Hey sweetie, good to hear that you get the tablet and the Diclofenac is sorting out the pain. You are amazing and we are all rooting for you.

Mistlethrush said...

Great news about the tablets. Keep up that positive thinking that inspires all of us and will get you through all this.

Tam said...

Good news on the tablet front and that your team are making the best decisions for you.
I am wowed and humbled by your strength of spirit and am sending positive vibes to you.

hesitant scribe said...

Thank you everyone! I am soooo lucky to have such lovely people caring about me like this, and I'm sure it's all helping me to recover too!