In Search of Motivation/Digging Deep

It's been a week of deciding to do things, but also of procrastination, I'm afraid!  A week of listening to Cds, and of reading books.

So I decided;

• to start swimming again
• to do some writing
• to be more active and get out and do things
• to eat properly - working toward the full Ph Diet

However;

• have only got as far as digging out my swim suit and gym membership card - concerted effort to start Friday morning
• have so far only managed a couple 100 words or so
• Monday I made a few phone calls (although forgot to ring J back and she wasn't in on Tuesday), and did the food shopping.  Tuesday I did very little.  No excuses.  Today I  have to wait in for the Sky people to come back and sort out the mess they made of the wiring first time around.
• haven't eaten meat in 2 weeks, nor chocolate, nor sugar, nor white bread - or white anything come to think of it!  I have had dairy in the form of butter, and milk on cereal, but today I just ate fruit until lunch time, so avoided it.  I've not needed laxatives in 2 weeks, and am getting hardly any break through pain in the evenings. 

So far, I'm feeling fantastic, it must be said.  In fact, why on earth am I sitting around all day when I feel this great?!

I've been listening to some Cds by a bloke called Tony Robbins - change your life in a week stuff!  I wouldn't normally bother with all this self help/self analysis stuff, but L sent it, so I had to listen.  I'm half way through.  Some of the stuff he says;

• Have an hour of power every day.  This is your first hour of the day where you give yourself time to focus on goals, do visualisations, meditate, etc., and you must make it like an appointment with a very special person who you wouldn't let down.  (I'm a crap friend - have so far failed to turn up to the first meeting!)
• Psychology starts with physiology.  In other words, if you sit slumped and downward looking, you'll feel that way too.  (This one works!)
• He lists all the excuses we make for ourselves:
• I'll do it tomorrow - tomorrow never comes
• I'll do it after I do x, y, z/I'm too busy right now
• I'll just think about it some more and then I'll do it.
• etc.
• Visualise what you want in your life, focus on what you want, and push thoughts of what you don't want, out of your mind altogether.
• Get fit and active again if you've let that slide, some of us since childhood!  Love your body by feeding it right, and keeping it oiled and active.
• To make a start, just tell yourself you'll just do 10 minutes.  We are assured that once we get started we'll usually end up doing more (well, that's been true for this blog post!)

Bugger!  I am all inspired now and want to jump in the car and head for the pool, but I can't bloody well go out till the Sky people come.  And the kids are home at 3.30.  I need to bottle this feeling and when I get up in the morning, I can drink it up.  Then I'll do my hour of power, have fruit for breakfast, and go riding.  And when I get home I'll do some writing before Bowen Therapy.

(Voice in head says, "Yeah Right!  Ha ha ha!  Don't make laugh!  You'll stay up all night again playing solitaire while listening to the radio, and struggle to be out of bed for 9 am!")

I have faith in me!  I can do this change your life thing!  I have nothing to lose and everything to gain!  The sad thing is, I had decided to make all these changes a year and half ago, when I started running and swimming, and getting fit.  Only I didn't realise the cancer had already started - and I had left it too late to prevent it.  So now I just gotta reverse it again.  Pick up from where I left off.  Keep going.  keep fighting.