Sunday, 18 November 2007

New experiences/an interesting week

I've had some lovely emails since I got diagnosed with gallstones - people who've had the same problems and recovered (thank you sooo much for those ones!) and people just wishing me well (also extremely welcome!), but one emailer was laid up for some years after a motorbike accident, and she made an interesting comment about learning from it.

It's made me think. What have I learned from this experience?

1. That the house doesn't run itself and unless I am there to rant on and on, only the very basics get done.
2. That daytime telly is crap, even with Sky.
3. That I really miss riding. So much I can't bring myself to look at horse at the moment.
4. That guilt is a terrible thing; not doing enough with the kids/hubby/my writing/the house/my students/gymnastics etc etc. It takes me all my time to make it to the supermarket before having to curl up with a hot wheat-pack and self-pity.
5. That the old adage, "You haven't got anything if you haven't got your health" is bloody well true.
6. That I HATE not being able to run around like a stressed out lunatic - that's who I am, and I miss it. Learning point is that maybe I should get less stressed about housework - after all, nothing that bad has happened so far (to the house).
7. That one's ability to bear pain does increase. You start to develop little breathing techniques and stuff, and learn to 'ride' it.
8. That I really don't want to die just yet. This may seem obvious but being sick and not having the results back from the gamut of tests is wreaking havoc with my head.
9. That my job has been far more stressful than it needs to be, and I'll be prioritising family over it from now on.
10. And finally, that I do want to finish my book, and that the thought of dying now and leaving all that unfinished business behind is almost as upsetting as the thought of leaving my kids.

I promise that when I get better I'll do more with my time, and do it better!

Wednesday I was all positive in the morning, and then I had a blood test. By a student nurse, and I know she's got to learn, but she made two holes in my arm before announcing that all my veins had collapsed and that she needed help. As she ran from the room it got really hot all of a sudden, and my head started spinning. I've never had that happen in my life. I had four nurses cooing over me on a trolley asking me if there was any chance I might be pregnant. With a gut full of gallstones I hardly think so, says I, and eventually they let me get up and crawl under a rock to lick my wounds. The following day I had to go again and this time another nurse did it - without any problem at all.


So now we wait again. This week feels like a month, and I've missed doing anything for both my girls' birthdays. Oh woe is me! Fed up fed up fed up fed up.


Chilli said...


You're not going to die......who'd drink all the tea then eh?

Anonymous said...

Aw. Chin up - things will get better. xxx

JJ said...

Ah honey, I'm sorry I've not been in touch. It sounds absolutely horrible and miserable. Can you do the supermarket shop on the internet?

(((((((Hugs and laying on of hands to relieve pain))))))))

Jon M said...

Guilt is not something you need to feel, your job is getting better and keeping spirits up! Do that!

This is a good opportunity to harness the helpful power of children (unless they're still pooing themselves in which case leave them be!)Go for the sympathy vote? It's amazing what they can do, I got mine to build an extension when I was ill last year...(actually that's a fib).

hesitant scribe said...

Hi everyone - and thank you once again for your kind thoughts! Really perks me up!

All the bloods came back normal so it's gotta be these gallstones causing all the trouble. At least I know it isn't anything really nasty and just er... look forward to? getting the bloody thing sorted!

Jon - Am in stitches at the thought of my kids building an extension!

Lane said...

Oh you poor, poor sausage. ((((Squeeze, but gently so as not cause pain))))
Glad to see from your comment that the bloods came back normal.