novel racing - limping along

I'm still hanging in there with the novel race although I did hit a brick wall this week. I think it was the whole proposal thing. I couldn't think straight for days and then got side-tracked into reading lots of text books, and writing poetics instead of fiction. I have managed to get back on track, but am only just limping along.

It's strange how it goes like this, this writing process. That sometimes it flows and flows and I can't write fast enough to get it all down, and then it stops. Abruptly. The ideas are all there but I can't make any decisions as to how to tell the story. Where to start? At which point in the scene? Whose perspective? What am I trying to show/say here? Etc., etc., etc.

I'm working on three chapters concurrently at the moment, unable to decide which bit of the 'big' story should go in each of the 'little' ones. It's a bit of a juggling act only I keep losing track of the clubs. Still, one we go, and the word count has shifted at last. I keep having to repeat, "You have permission to write crap now and fix it later," the mantra of the desperate.

I look at the novel racers and am half inspired and half reduced to tears. Their word counts rise swiftly, some have books out there on shelves already. It all seems so far away for me, at a quarter of the way through, especially with some of you - you know who you are! - mocking up book sleeves so beautifully! I'm still grappling with how to write a novel, let alone what I want it to look like - although you've got me thinking now...

But hang on! A quarter of the way through - well almost. That's good isn't it?! There's a long way to go, but there's also a nice fat pile of words on my desk (mostly crap admittedly - but I will fix that later!). I'm going to put the kettle on and celebrate!