I stopped taking the sedatives last night. I figured that a week was long enough and that I should get on with sleeping all by myself again.
I woke up at 1 am, and 5 am, in agony both times, and with nausea... but by 8 am, nausea aside, I felt more awake than I have done since Day 1 of the cycle. So while I'm grateful to the sedatives for helping me sleep through the first week, I'm also quite pleased to be beginning the 'return to normal' phase of the chemo cycle!
Actually made it to Tesco today too (other supermarkets are available...). I had to rope in my friend's fella to take me, but he was marvellous and even carried my handbag round while I tried not to throw up in my trolley. I know hubby will come home and say, "Why did you do that?! I would have gone for you!" but it's baby steps, and I just wanted to go myself and look on shelves. You know? It's a small, but real achievement. (If I'm this pleased about Tesco, imagine how pleased I'll be when my novel gets published and I buy a horse!!!)
Yesterday's achievement was walking into the village and back to post a parcel. It was like being in someone else's body, and about ten minutes into the walk the pain in my shoulder started up big time. My legs felt like lead, and the ringing in my ears made the world so loud and tinny. I got overtaken by a woman who was definitely on the wrong side of 90. So I was walking along singing, "Heave ho! On we go! One foot in front of the other..." and I imagined I was on a pirate ship, hoisting a sail up. I got a few odd looks but I made it there and back. Even if it did take me the best part of 50 mins to do a 20 min trip.
You see sometimes, you just gotta lower your expectations!
There's a few exciting things in the pipeline though. There's Centre Parcs, and I'm determined to get a riding lesson in next week. I have a lunch meeting tomorrow too... lots of stuff. Plus the novel racers are meeting up, and that is by far the most exciting thing ever!!!
And for the writers... news of a short story conference follows...
(I use far too many ellipses, don't I?)
or equally... it's just great to meet other writers, eat, drink, and be merry! Don't be put off by it being 'academic'. It's never a dry affair - far from it. Al Kennedy had me (and everyone else!) in stitches when she opened the first one, two years ago.
You should be able to click on the poster for all the details, but if not, email me and I'll send you a copy of the poster in pdf.
When: Saturday 10th May 2008
Where: Dean Walters Building, John Moores University, Liverpool.
Hope to see you there.