You see, you are never too ill to be naughty and yesterday is living proof of that. Okay... so I didn't murder anyone, but I did go to Mac Donalds for a chocolate milkshake, for which Doctor Young (remember the PH diet?) would have me hung, drawn and quartered. Today I am behaving myself again, eating properly and trying to keep my system alkaline.
The visitors keep coming, which is lovely and I'm not knocking it, but I am getting really knackered now. Sometimes I feel as though I'm being killed with kindness.
There's so much I want to say, I hardly know where to start. I'm conscious that poor F is in the kitchen while I'm sitting here dictating to poor J (F should be safe enough with hubby in the kitchen, though, jejejejeje).
At least my skin is in better shape than it ever has been, what with all these lovely skin creams - do keep them coming! - I had a shower last night, followed by being slavered in Molton Brown body souffle. It was hard work, what with all this bloody muscle wastage an 'all, but I did it, and felt soo luverly afterwards!
Haven't read anymore of the Seagull book yet, but did watch Lost! I tell you, I thought I was going completely mad watching that! It was like, is it the morphine?! And wtf did they do to America's Next Top Model aka ANTM? It went all futuristic (silver hair for the 2 Js no less. It was quite good, mind) I loved watching it with my Big' un. A little bit of normality with the kids is important I think, especially with nurses passing by the house twice a day, every day.
N.B. The nurses have all been, without fail, lovely/friendly/kind/efficient/accommodating/etc. and, unusually for me, I'll swallow any buts!!!
Note to any one recently diagnosed, start with the diets today! Don't leave it until you are throwing everything back up, oh, and start the visualisation and keep it going! I only say this because it does get more difficult to concentrate!!! (Or is that my female 'butterfly' mind perhaps, that flits and floats - and always did, regardless of morphine/meds/etc.)
I still awaken every morning, with an ongoing narrative, telling me what to type here on the blog though. The old mind is alive with thoughts of love, success, health, and someone - would you believe?! contacted me through facebook, to say how angry they were about my tumour/condition etc! I don't want to sound all cliched here, but I do truly believe that my illness is a lot to do with forgiving myself and other people... indeed when I first had acupuncture, the Chinese Lady told me not to get angry with it. I'm not angry at all. Really. And not even trying to be all goody-two-shoes either! I heard it said, early on: 1-in-3: why not me?!!!
So, all that spiritual work I meant to do on myself as a screwed up, lost teenager, is being done now...earlier, as I staggered down to the end of the garden reciting, "I can, I can, I can!" The I-Ching says I'll be fine if I do the work, and it's always been right so far!!!
More tomorrow! xxxxxxxxx