Saturday, 20 September 2008

Today is the first day of my new life.

Thank you to everyone who has supported me through this past year or so (my, is it really that long already - how time flies when you're having treatment!). It's been a long road, and I obviously either didn't;
a) learn the lesson I was supposed to learn or
b) focus enough on the positive or
c) manage to rid myself of the stress, negative thinking patterns, or past traumas that attracted the illness to me in the first place.

Or a combination of all 3!

I got up this morning and when I reached the kitchen I found myself becoming very angry and stressed about the mess. It was only after I'd cleared most of the mess, loaded the dishwasher, and made a brew that I suddenly stopped and asked myself why was I upset, and what was I really upset about. The kitchen? Or perhaps yesterday's diagnosis?!!! It was just my mind being naughty, and focusing on the negative again.

So I got out The Secret, and re-read the chapter on Healing. I reminded myself that every cell in the body is replaced regularly, so that in 7 years, not a single atom in you will be the same. I reminded myself of how fantastic I feel, and repeated over and over in my head "I feel fantastic. I am healing. Thank you for my healing." I read about the placebo effect again, whereby a patient is healed despite the fact that the medicine they received was only water, or a sugar pill. Their mind healed them. I read all the cases of patients who have healed themselves by picturing themselves well again, every second of every day. Within a short time (still had tea left in the cup!) I felt positive, safe, and confident that I am going to be perfectly okay.

The Secret also talks about the importance of not talking about the condition. The teaching is that to discuss the illness gives it attention, and attracts more of the same, because (and I believe this and have found it to be true throughout my life) that what we think about and focus on is what we receive more of. The universe, or God, or cosmic energy - whatever you want to call it, has no concept of 'good' and 'bad' and so it will provide us with what we want (that is what we focus on with our minds).- So I've decided that once the news is shared (as in yesterday's blog post and countless phone calls to the non-bloggers!) I don't want to talk about it anymore. Don't want to give it any energy or attention, or thoughts.

I blogged about this in the past - the old "How are you?" chestnut. Some people took it to mean that I didn't want people to ask how I am, but that wasn't what I meant. What I meant was that when we ring someone up to see how they are (which is lovely, and needed, and truly appreciated), we need to accept their answer and not keep asking questions, and/or dwelling on the illness or whatever problem it is they are having - and I have been guilty of this myself in the past, when all I wanted was to provide a sympathetic ear. But now I'm in this little predicament, and now that I understand the need to be positive in all my thoughts, I realise that talking about things endlessly, is not the answer.

So I think it's a case of ask how people are doing, and be there if they want/need to talk, but when the talking is done, move on to normal things!

A final note: My dad is the best. He calls and says how are you, and is there if i need to talk, but he also understands the importance of not giving these negative things any attention, so he will quickly move on to talk about when my next riding lesson is, or what I've been up to. He reminds me that I can do this, can change it all around and make my body healthy again by thinking positive thoughts, and focusing on perfect health, goodtimes, and more perfect health!

So have a great day - I'm going to!


Debs said...

Your dad sounds truly wonderful.

liz fenwick said...

Ditto what Deb said. I know you can do this - your strength is amazing. Now write the book.

JJ said...

Glad to hear you're sounding so up. Keep positive.

Zinnia Cyclamen said...

Yay! And, like Liz says, do some writing - you asked for kicks up the backside on that a wee while ago, so here's one: *pow* - let's see that word counter rise!

Stuart and Gabrielle said...

For what it's worth: I had cancer in my tongue some 14 years ago, when I was just 33. On the whole, I found that it was other people who couldn;t face to talk about it and used euphemisms when they did. I was happy to talk about it freely, yet not in obsessive fashion, and always call it cancer, rather than softer alternatives. For me, that robbed it of it's power over me.
Another benefit is that when I told people about it, I got a lot of replies along the lines of "oh, my (such-and-such) had that ..." and, on balance, there were more positive outcomes than negative ones: cancer is suvivable, I know!
What's important is that you do what's right for you, I just wanted to tell you what worked for me.
As they say here in France, Bon Courage, which seems to be a useful combination of good luck and have courage.

hesitant scribe said...

Thanks to everyone here, and to Stuart - it's worth so much to have you share your success - thank you!

admin said...

Keep positive go for new life
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