Still Here? Damn Right!

The Next Generation - lots of lovely visitors again!!!! Cripes I'm lucky!!!

I'm going to run out of titles soon (ha ha ha) but am actually typing this myself today - woo hoo!!! And am watching nutrition intake (porridge/wheatgrass/spirulina crap/etc., very little) versus outgoing (vomit - none today so far, but then just tasted my first organic raw juice drink OMG!!! Juice drink - now there's a fine line between wanting to live and drink that or never have to drink again!!!, wee - very little, poo - none! [do you SEE what I have been reduced to in my topics of conversation ???!!])

Also watching physical activity levels - again, not a lot here. Still going to loo alone upstairs, and after making yesterday's list, put on shoes and walked to the end of the garden. So, I'm sitting up, albeit on the couch chatting to people- still like Piccadilly Circus here oddly, but as I said the other day it is ALL About the People, friendships and relationships, everything we do/say/read/feel/care about in life is for or because of people, whether we'll admit/face/see it, or not. People who've been diagnosed out there - watch the stages of how people are with you and where possible, covet the one's who cherish your dreams as well as their own - hence so many gorgeous people have typed for me this past few days when I couldn't, value your opinion and/or have opinions that are valued by you, and of course all the Love Stuff - I have a lot of love for people, and like to pride myself on showing others that it is possible to have a difficult time (or even lots of them) in your life, and survive it because people have always been there to teach me that.

I started writing my novel as a thank you to the people in Spain who met me as one severely damaged and broken individual and helped to make me whole and confident again. The most important lesson of all was how to trust because after what I'd bee through - for anyone who may be interested out there? was hard that palaver with the mad Algerian

actually someone commented about an Albanian(?) for some odd reason, but no, there's a HUGE cultural difference there, for one I learned French and Arabic Swear Words, not Albanian, ha! ha! will let you off this time but please read carefully ;-)

Anyway, still trying to fathom what to do about novel - it's finished in my head and ends up being half fiction half autobiography, whilst this blog that started as a writing experiment is now urging me, not only to write, but to keep on writing AND living, to keep on analysing the wonderful life I've had and ever helping me to be a writer who wants to show a brighter purpose - tall order but I'm up for it because I never had to endure a war-zone but I did grow up in a bit of a Scouse mini-Beirut! And lots of little things add up to be bigger things, no?! I no matter how bad things have gotten/been someone or something has always assured me that the Universe is unfolding as it should be and that I'd look back and say thank you and mean it!!! And, no lie, I always have done even now, up to and including all of this health stuff. Honestly, you just have to look really hard sometimes!!!

For example, my adoption was a dreadful thing years ago but is now a wonderful part of who I am today. Not to mention the fact that I have an extra family now - whom I think the world of - and it was a really amazing tale of fluke and fortune in finding them online in a trace!! We went to see them in the 2nd year of my degree because my birth-mother was dying, but she's a tough old boot (I'm banking on it!) and is still here some 7 years or so later!!!

3 days and a pc and one super hubby needed for searches BTW

I'd wanted to work with adoptees and tracing one day, cos I think it is important to know where you came from psychologically even though I believe it doesn't matter spiritually but there is yet another novel to be scribed!

Righto, left hand worked very hard now needs a rest, as do eyes etc!

Thank you to everyone who's still with me/here/reading/laughing/whate vering