Monday, 31 December 2007

That New Year's Eve Thing Again!

It's New Year's Eve again. We have made no arrangements at all - in fact the only thing I want to do at this moment is - and this may sound a bit odd - to find a horse to look at, and I'm really lucky, to stroke.

Must be going mad.

But then I've always hated New Year's Eve and the ensuing, often enforced celebrations. I don't drink so the thought of spending the entire night surrounded by pissed people is less than enticing. And that's before I even think about the whole wretched cancer business.

Yesterday I went out for a long gentle walk around a reservoir somewhere in Bolton to try to shake me out of the most ludicrous sadness I appeared to have woken up with. The walk was beautiful, and even when it turned into a muddy, climbing along gates and under fallen trees kind of affair, I wasn't out of breath, or ill at all. Which started the tears again for some weird reason. Thankfully everyone is still being really patient with me... if anything, I'm the one I'm annoying the most!!!

Anyway, sod the New Year's Eve thing - I promise to make more of an effort next year and the years after that - all 50 of 'em (I've put in my order to the powers that be for a long healthy life followed by drifting off in my sleep one night in my 80s or 90s).

I will go with the sentiment though - to say to everyone, remember to love yourself and your life, and to make time to do useful and purposeful things that make you and others feel good.

Happy New Year 2008, and the most heartfelt thanks to all of you who have been listening to me, and responding so positively to my pleas for support.

Here's my list:

1. Survive lung cancer and become fit and healthy again. And look after myself properly from therein after. Spinach isn't that bad.
2. Work on staying positive and not being such a miserable bastard! Although to be fair, it's only 2 and half weeks since my diagnosis.
3. Keep writing and doing the PhD. Finish the novel by the end of 2008.
4. Keep on riding horses and improving so that I can get one eventually.


JJ said...

Hi honey, sorry to hear you're feeling sad today. Since arriving in Thailand, I've decided 31 Dec is an utterly random New Year date. The Chinese celebrate new year sometime in Feb and the Thais in April at Songkran, so it's totally arbitrary. Therefore I'm staying in too. Actually I'm staying in because I've got a virus.

I do wish you and your family a happy and healthy new year, and many more to come. Take good care of yourself.
Love JJx

KayJay said...

I'm also staying in. Isn't it great? I mean it; just me, a couple of my nearest and dearest and an enormous macaroni cheese. And perhaps a game of scrabble. Got to do exactly what you want to do whenever you get the chance on these kind of occasions, I think.

Lots of the best kind of everything for 2008 - I'm sending good vibes to you.

Zinnia Cyclamen said...

That's a fine list. I went out last night for the first time in living memory, and had a great time in a remote country pub where some friends of mine were playing folk music. It was full but not packed; lots of people were drinking, but nobody seemed to get drunk; most of us danced; nobody argued or fought; a nice basic buffet was provided free of charge at 10.30; and the evening wound up by 1 am. But usually I'm a stayer-inner too, and next year I'll probably be back to curling up on the sofa with a good novel and some chocolate.

Let those feelings flow, I can understand that it is sometimes irritating for you but they're better out than in. And here's wishing you all the best for 2008, and 2009, and 2010, and 2011, and *repeat to fade*!

Chilli said...

We stayed in too, played scabble and wacthed Jools Holland.
This is of course after searching the streets of London looking for Bandit who had seemingly gone missing from the house only to be found hours later up the bloody chimney having a wail of a time.....effing cats!!!

See you soon,

Take care and most of all..


hesitant scribe said...

Hurrah to the stayer inners!


And old Jools with his Hootenanny is becoming a bit of a tradition in our house-hold.

Am a tad jealous of Zinnia's evening though - how lovely. I love folk music. (I'm such an old hippy!)