Summer, SplashWorld, Sick sick sick

It's going to be a fantastic summer - I can feel it in my bones. Every last one of them, but especially those in my lower back, and rib cage.

So. Last week it was the Fastrack Graduation on the Friday, and the Conference on the Saturday. Both went well, but what I didn't tell you was that on the Friday night I had some interesting chest pains. A vice like grip around my rib cage forced me to the floor in a cold sweat and as I ripped off my frock and bra, gasping for air, all I could think of was the bloody conference paper and how I would be delivering it, heart attack or not. I sat at the bottom of the stairs panting and refusing to let my husband call an ambulance because the pain was subsiding, and heart attacks don't subside. Do they?

Of course it wasn't a heart attack (or a panic attack which was hubby's idea de jour), but some bloody virus that has all the symptoms of a heart attack without the death bit - pain down left arm, tightening chest, more pain, shallow breathing. The works really. The doctor, on Monday morning - yes I know I waited until Monday morning, but I only went because my mother frog marched me there. I wasn't going to go at all. If I'm going to die at 37 I'd rather just get on with it rather than have some doctor issue me with 6 weeks to live - so the doctor did all his bits and bobs and announced I've got Tietze's Disease. Christ, I thought. Six weeks to live! Shit. But it turns out it isn't life threatening and isn't half as bad as it sounds. Plus you can say, "It's really getting on my tit," and mean it. *Phew. For the interested among you, 30% of people who turn up in Casualty with a heart attack have this (aka costachondritis OR inflammation of the cartilage around the ribs and sternum). Nice.

So Tuesday it was Gymnatics Fun Day. Basically that meant from 9am till 3.30pm in the gym with loads of excited kids flinging themselves around on various bit of apparatus, and me stood there clutching my left breast in agony, looking a bit pervy I'm sure! And my lower back which is feeling a bit tight at the moment. Christ. I went home and let everyone down. Again. So much for a guilt free summer.

Wednesday was better. I took the kids to Splashworld. We went in a party of 15 people so didn't have to queue. We got *sneaked* around the back so that people wouldn't get upset. Hmm. It was good fun though. We went on a rubber ring water slide first. The seven year old could be heard shrieking all the way down behind me as I hurtled along the bright yellow piping on white foaming water. Ahead of her. Powerless. I watched someone else's kid catapult out of their rubber ring in the distance and my heart (aching and all) sank. I managed to get trapped in a slow bit and waited for her to catch up. The tube spat her out, crimson faced, teeth glaring. Good times! The tube slides were great fun despite the 15-20 min wait, but after no time at all, some git announced that all the orange bands had to leave. Two hours? Is that all you get?!

Today I've been tidying little one's room. Hell! Do you have a small child - well the 6-8 bracket? Do yours have a tidy room? Do they store bits of old food behind bookshelves and singleton socks in with the colouring pens? Do they put clothes away by burying them in the cuddly toy pile?! Good lord. I even enlisted Chilli's help but we were forced to retreat to the safety of the kitchen to drink copious amounts of tea.

I've done most of it and been to the tip twice. Only the 'art stuff' remains (as in pens, paper, stickers etc., all over the floor) so am typing this to the dulcet tones of OI YOU! and Tell her MUM!!! as the teenager attempts to help the little one finish the job off.

One wonders what joys await us tomorrow as we watch the rain falling on the trampoline. Not so much global warming as a British Monsoon Season, eh!