Tuesday, 19 February 2008

Force 10

How many tablets???

I started this second cycle of chemo in high spirits, and feeling very positive, but I'm afraid the nausea and the exhaustion have been horrendous. I'm still struggling to keep my head in an upright position for more than a few minutes (which makes typing interesting I can tell you!), before the old stomach kicks in again, and I have to get horizontal again. Bugger.

Talk about the bitterer the medicine!

I've been on lots of meds too. I hate taking tablets, but the about list is impressive by anyone's standards! We've got stuff for pain (the numbness has gone in my arm, and been replaced with feelings of 3rd degree burns - this is a good thing I tell myself as at least the nerves are working again, but it bloody well hurts), and stuff for the nausea (nothing seems to be able to get rid of it all together), and antibiotics, steroids, and laxatives. Lovely.

And here comes the stuff I was going to tell you about weeks ago and didn't.

Out of embarrassment. If you've got a weak stomach, look away now.

The wind. Is awful.

I can't bear to be in the same room as me at the moment, let alone anyone else. Hubby is lighting Joss sticks and he HATES Joss sticks. It's a good job no one smokes because a naked flame and it could all be over. Little'un is turning green at the foul stench that is coming from... where? ME?! Oh dear God. Dignity and illness are not things that sit together easily (especially as dignity is retching from the smell of illness' bottom!). To make it worse I've had to take laxatives to counteract all the bloody codeine. What fun! I hadn't realised quite how, er... backed up things were. Oh well. Live and learn, eh.

Surely it cannot get any worse?

*Looks around and over shoulder before taking that comment back* It can always get worse, and having seen all the others, my lot is not that bad. (You listening up there?! Fate or whoever you are!)

Yesterday I had more chemo. I was in the hospital half a day to swallow 5 innocuous looking orange pills. The appointment was for 1.15 but the blood clinic was shut until 2pm. That's organisation for you. Shall know for next time. Anyway, my bloods were all normal despite the fact that I feel as though I've been run over with a steam roller, so must be doing something right.

I had such high hopes for today - weather is lovely - cold but bright and crisp. I could have written another chapter, gone riding, or to the gym... In the end I think it's going to be another day of trying to get through without throwing up, peeing oneself, or gassing the household!

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Fart on Cisplatin and everyone falls unconscious :(


Lane said...

Don't worry, I have a very strong stomach:-)

It's great that your bloods came back normal. You're not doing 'something' right you're doing it all right.


hesitant scribe said...

Lane - good job you do! I think everyone else has been stunned into silence! A post too far perhaps!

Lane said...

Not a post too far:-)

You let it all out ... as it were;-)

Annieye said...

You can't help it and people do understand. You seem to be doing really well despite the sickness and wind.

Carol and Chris said...

Congratulations on the blood result....that's definately moving in the right direction!!

Hmmm....I suggest you get either a dog or a cat....they are great for blaming smells on!! (erm.....not that that's what I do :-D)

C x

Debs said...

Certainly not a post too far.

You're doing so well, glad to hear your bloods were all normal. Dx

hesitant scribe said...

Hi all - think the wind is abating, thank goodness!

And i soooo want a cat! a kitten to keep me company, but hubby's not having any of it!

Moondreamer said...

Would hubby give in if we all signed a petition?

Keep up the good work Lisa, both in all senses ... fighting the nasties, maintaining a lovely sense of humour and writing fabulously honest posts!

I just popped over to tell you about the full moon eclipse tonight. While reading about it, I thought of you ... I know you're into positive thinking, and thought perhaps you might like to know that this full moon is considered to be a wonderful moon for health and healing.

Hope each day gets a little easier. Be gentle with yourself!


hesitant scribe said...

moondreamer - thank you - it is a full moon! I have the moon thingy on the left column of my blog but hadn't noticed! I shall use it tonight to help the healing.:)