Wednesday, 6 February 2008

A touch of Paranoia!

I logged into Yahoo this morning, to check my mail - as you do - and was horrified to see my avatar thingy had gone bald! Totally pink skulled bald - a chemotar!

I thought now who would do such a thing?! Remove all the hair from a cancer patient's avatar. I have a sense of humour, but admit that challenged it. I rang hubby. Did you do it? I asked. He couldn't stop laughing - obviously his sense of humour is still as warped as ever - but it wasn't him. I changed my password immediately.

And then I saw that my avatar was normal again. WTF??? thought I. I logged into the avatar-maker-thingy (technical term there), and could I find a bald avatar?! There just isn't one - at least not for the women (didn't look at the men's). Then, on Yahoo questions I discovered lots of people asking if it was usual for avatars to appear bald for a few seconds I had one of those, 'DOH! Dontcha feel a tit!' moments. Oh well. Balance has been restored (or hair at least) and all is well. Except I then wasted another half an hour of valuable editing time re-vamping my avatar! (see above).

After getting over the shock embarassment excitement of the avatar business, I went to the gym. YES! The gym! Having been up since 3 am in excrutiating pain (afraid to say the old pancoast pain is back these last two days with a vengeance - think the chemo has pissed it off a bit) I did wonder if the gym was that good an idea. But the pain seems to subside if I keep moving, so I went anyway, with the plan being to do as much as I could to get some natural endorphins flowing. (This because Ibuprofen and Co-Drydomol together didn't even make a dent in the pain so far).

Anyway, I did:

10 minutes on the cross-trainer
5 minutes on the bike
1000 metres on the rowing machine
some stretching on the floor
4 lengths of the pool
25 minutes in the Jacuzzi
5 minutes in the steam room

And it was good, and the pain did subside - a little. Then I went home and took more Diclofenic, and it was even better! Apologies were made to the couple from St Helens in the pool who were visiting for the day and had the misfortune to meet me and my cancer! I felt like the nutter on the bus (only I was in a swimsuit in lots of bubbly hot water)... Imagine old lady voice saying, "Hello, I've got cancer you know... I'm not really a heroin addict even though me arms look like it!" They were very sweet though, and resisted the urge to flee!

As if all that wasn't excitement enough, I got home to a Blue Badge! I felt like a bit of a fraud really, thinking, "there's nothing wrong with me, what do I want with a disabled badge," and then I remembered. Oh well. I will resist (I hope) the temptation to explain to people as I park for free that I have lung cancer, and can't walk very far on chemo-induced bad days.

We also went to the dentist and I had a small filling with no anaesthetic (cos of the chemo). Luckily it's only for a little chip on the lingual buckle (sounds good that dunnit - God I love words!), so not being a hero (or heroine), it just didn't need a needle. Had it hurt even the tiniest bit I would have cried like a baby infront of both my children. Our dentist is new. I am terrified of dentists so was very very frightened - but she turned out to be fab. And Lithuanian. And 'thank you' in Lithuanian is Achou. I have no idea how that is spelt, but it sounds like a sneeze. I was very pleased to have another 'thank you' to add to my collection!

Tomorrow I have booked a hack so hoping I can
A) get the pain-killers to work enough to
B) get some sleep, and
C) manage to ride an hour without throwing up afterwards.

Onwards and upwards, eh!

P.S. Is it just me, or is spell-checker out of action on blogger?


liz fenwick said...

I was exhausted reading your work out - you are amazing. I'm pleased it helped a bit.

I'm terrified of dentists so even when they tell me it won't hurt I'm so wound up it does.......wimp is my middle name:-)

Zinnia Cyclamen said...

Blue badges are great, particularly as they belong to a person not a vehicle. Three friends and one relative have them, and they are ALWAYS the people I want to go shopping with!!!

hesitant scribe said...

liz - I think it's the dentist and not us! No really! How could it possibly be us?! ;-)

zinnia - Does this mean lots of people are going to want to go places with me now?! You see, cancer can have it's good points! (*My tongue is firmly in my cheek here*)

Lane said...

The balding avatar is the weirdest thing! Your new one looks very swish though.

You did how much at the gym??
That whole list?? Cripes, you are putting me to shame.

Well done on the dentist and I hope you get some better sleep and enjoy the hack:-)

ps love the post label:-)!

hesitant scribe said...

lane - you did see the numbers didn't you?! Only 5 mins here and there, with the biggest number in the jacuzzi (mind you, it's hard work in there!)

Kate.Kingsley said...

My Avatar often gets scalped too! It's rather unnerving, isn't it?

I'm impressed with your gym doings. And you're right, the Jacuzzi is hard work ~ you have to hang on to stop yourself getting pulled under, and therefore it is an official resistance exercise.

Annieye said...

You made me feel tired just reading your blog - I get puffed out just running up three flights of stairs at work!

My youngest son used to hide under the chair at the dentists, he was so scared. I think he was about six before he would let the dentist look at his teeth.

How strange that avatars momentarily lose their hair?

hesitant scribe said...

kate - am so relieved that the avatar thing is a glitch and not someone's sad sense of humour! I do try very hard in the Jacuzzi - you're right - it should be an Olympic sport ;-)

annie - glad your son's not scared of the dentist any more. I'm still scared and it's awful. My kids aren't bothered with is a miracle given the carry-on I go through! I think it's because I made my mum take them until they were happy with it! My youngest had a fear of trains and buses though, which made taking her anywhere on public transport slightly traumatic for all of us! Eldest isn't scared of anything other than her hair not being right, or her shoes not matching her outfit, ha ha!