As usual, lots of disjointed and disorderly news so will use headings to try to steer you through the nonsense that is my life;

Acupuncture

On Wednesday I went to the hospital for my appointment, but was disappointed to discover it was just an 'assessment'. Basically a student physio (bless him) asked me lots of questions about movement. I had to stand up, sit down, wave arms around. He looked perplexed. "You have no problems with movement," he said.
"I know," said I.
"So why do you want acupuncture?" he asked, after I'd explained that the pain in my shoulder was greatly reduced since beginning chemo/visualisation (either or seem to be working).
"I want to re-align my chi, sort out my meridians, and all that," I said. And when he looked at me as though I were completely mad, I tried, "I thought it might help with the chemo-induced nausea?"
He said he'd have to speak to his superiors, but let it slip he was starting his masters, so at least I was able to provide some useful advice in my capacity as a lecturer and PhD student! (He said the reading list was 20 pages long, so after berrating him with a 'so it should be for a masters' told him to aim to get through 75% of it, and to be 'discerning' in his reading. I don't know if it helped but the word count for my PhD seemed to give him a sense of perspective back!)

Basically the hospital physios to 'some courses' in acupuncture for pain relief, so I used the link from Zinnia and now have an appointment with a local TCM (traditional Chinese medicine) practitioner who does acupuncture and herbal medicine, and is used to the terms oncology, chi, and pancoast tumour. Can't wait. Going on Tuesday!

Gallstones - losing my sense of humour/the joys of morphine

I ate a whole packet of Kettle Chips on Wednesday. I was chatting away to Julie when I suddenly came over all 'funny'. Hmm, thought I. Need a lie down.

And then it started again. Bloody bloody bloody. Why I thought handcooked would mean okay with gallbladder I have no idea, but hubby just took one look at me and dialled 999.

Normally I'm crying, "Please, no ambulance, no hospital," but this time I was at the door screaming, "Where are they?! Boo hoo hoo!" And inbetween, "No, no, no, not again!"

So they carted me away, which is really I suppose, all I deserved. I got a lovely junior doctor who seemed to fascinated by the whole story. I love telling stories but kept thinking, "Not now - just gimmee the morphine NOW!"

She came in. "What seems to be the problem?" (I'm writhing around on the bed in tears, clutching a hot wheat-pack to my abdomen.)

I gasped, "Gallstones - ate crisps - bad pain - need something - took 1 diclofenic 50 somethings before ambulance came - argh argh argh."

She said, "Gallstones? How do you know this?"

I said, "Scan - here - October - 7 - big - ones - last attack 2 weeks - argh - ago."

She said, "Hmm. We need a line in," and called a nurse over who put a line in not so well, bled me, took bloods and removed line. The doc came back.

"Why did you take the line out?"

"I didn't!"

"Tell me more about your gallstones," she said, "I am very interested."

At this point the pain subsided as the Diclofenic I took at home started to kick in. I could breathe again normally so I told her I was on chemo, named the drugs, the pancoast tumour etc., and she just kept saying, "this is amazing... tell me what happened before that..." and I patiently went through it all. I wanted to say why don't you just read my effing blog because the next wave hit me and I was reduced to an arghing mess again.

Why oh why can I not just have the bloody morphine, thought I.

Eventually the nurse came back and fitted another line in the other arm (even worse - this one would leave a blackberry coloured bruise and still stings even now) and then gave me 5 somethings of morphine. Within seconds the pain had gone and a wave f nausea flushed over me. I wanted to go home but junior doc had gone and got a surgeon and now I was being asked to sign a consent form for surgery!!!!

I said, "I have a surgeon and he won't take 'em out until my cancer has been dealt with, and as long as I stay on a low-fat diet I'll be fine." When the surgeon came to see me he was a darling. He went through my bloods with me (all totally normally despite being in the 'crash period' of my chemo cycle) and wished me well before getting the line removed and sending me home.

Phew. I will never eat: Cauliflower Cheese, Chocolate Cake, or Kettle Chips ever again. Damn.

Writing:

Working on the story. I was supposed to do it yesterday (self imposed deadline) but er... of course I didn't, and today the nausea is at interesting levels. So - more ginger required, a lay down infront of the fire while I listen to the gale force winds outside, and hopefully tomorrow's post will say - I finished it - hurrah!!!

But er... don't hold your breath!

Update in the evening...

Have been thinking about the writing seriously today, and posted my 'writing to date CV' on Hesitant Scribblings - check it out if you like :)